Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Life List Day 9 - Say Only Positive Things to My Son & Day 10 - Thrift Shopping

I suppose it's pathetic that I consider it a challenge to say only positive things to my son for one day - and even worse than I tried this before and failed.

In my defense, the unpositive things aren't mean-girl territory. It's not "you'll never amount to anything" or "you're ugly and your mama dresses you funny." Mine falls more into the category of worry: "If you don't clear that dish, then you'll never learn to take care of yourself, you'll flunk out of college, live in a gutter...AND DIE!" Call it an overactive imagination. The curse of the author.

Anyway, I did it! Went 24-hours only pointing out the positive (I waited until this morning to post, just in case I woke Danny in the night with negative ramblings). I'll admit, it was touch and go around noon. Danny was home for the day, which I considered prime opportunity to catch up on homework, but he viewed more as a chance to take a 3-hour bath. The bath won. And, even though he got wrinkly, and his skin probably molded, which will give him some strange disease which will make him hideous to look at, and he'll never find a wife, and he'll be in such despair that he'll live in a gutter...AND DIE!, I said nothing of the sort. I merely smiled and asked him if he enjoyed my new strawberry bubble bath.

One thing I noticed: Without me nagging and worrying, my son didn't get everything done that he was supposed to.

Which is exactly what happens on the days that I DO nag and worry.

Day 10 - Go Thrift Shopping

There's a thrift store in Sunland, CA that will take ANYTHING. I know, because I've donated some real crap, and they seemed excited to get it. That's not always the case. I once took stuff to the Good Will and they turned it away, and these were things I'd just had in my house. On display! Not good enough for Good Will! Anyway, I've eyed this thrift store but have nver gone in. Today I did, and it didn't disappoint. Yards upon yards of junk. Not that I want junk, but while wallowing in it, I get the feeling I'm going to find a hidden gem.

(I didn't.)


S. Ramos O'Briant said...

My mom was convinced I'd never graduate from high school. I cut school a lot, talked back to teachers, and was generally surly and unhappy. She was my mom and I figured she was right. The future --- well, there didn't seem to be a future for me.

40+ years later, she's still pushing my buttons. HIgh school is past, college and grad school, too, so she has to content herself with saying stuff like, "Well, you know how you are."

How she sees me hasn't changed.

Makes me wonder what the payoff is for her. Habit, old scripts, no growth on her part.

She owns no part of my success. But if I failed, she could say she predicted as much. And then she could rescue me.

S. Ramos O'Briant said...

Cleaning my desk. Found a yellow pad with an entry from 7/24/02 (hey, I've been busy the last five years) re. my oldest son:

Day full of Eric. Maybe I do too much for him, prevent him from owning his success. He aggravates me so much, when he's really so sweet. Nice, generous person at heart, but hesitant, and hesitancy irritates me. At least he's not bitter and angry like he used to be. Will try to be more supportive. Encouraging.

He was a sophomore in COLLEGE when I wrote that.

It never ends, just changes.


To s. ramos o'briant:

Yipes! Does that mean the luggage I bought for my son's 18th birthday is just wishful thinking????


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