Life List Day 135 - Accept that All Work and No Play Makes Jill a Dull (and Crabby) Girl

I'm in full packing mode, my move to my beach house being scheduled for August 3. Today, my friend Kirsten emailed me to say she was going to El Torito for her son, Marko's, birthday, and could Danny and I join? I emailed her back with apologies - I was so frantically packing, I couldn't possibly make time.

Then - I thought about how I'm trying to fit more joy into my life as part of my life list. Sure, the new house is a huge source of happiness. But so is getting together with friends.

So I emailed her back with a big fat yes.

Life List Day 134 - All New Songs on My iPod

On my iPod, I've got a playlist of about 400 songs: mostly pop, hiphop, the occasional country song, and even a few showtunes.

Today - just to stretch myself musically - I loaded an entirely new playlist of songs in genres that I don't typically listen to. Metal. Classic rock. Jazz. Classical. To get the music, I checked CDs out of the library and also raided my son's pile of CDs (not only does he have lots of metal, but he also inherited his dad's collection of 300 CDs with plenty of Beatles, Stones and other bands I typically snub).

I started listening to it when I went for a walk today. I plan to keep it on there until I make my way through all the songs I loaded.

So far, it's been kind of fun (although some of these jazz tunes aren't exactly zippy to walk to).

Life List Day 133 - Dance at the Park

I often go with friends to Polliwog Park on Sunday evenings in the summer, where they have free concerts. We drink wine, eat snacks, and let the kids run wild while we listen to the band.

Today, I grabbed a couple friends and went out onto the dance area in front of the band. In all the years I've been going (and I believe it's 10 now), I've never danced.

But I couldn't help myself.

They were playing Brick House.

Life List Day 131 - Let My Son Stand Up for Me

My son's friend "Kyle" stole my iPod today. I noticed it missing, he'd been the only other person in the house, and he has a bit of a reputation for sticky fingers.

Still, I was shocked to think he'd steal from me. I've fed him...given him rides...two highly valued things to a teenager.

When I saw the iPod missing, I asked Danny, "Do you think Kyle might have taken my iPod?"

I expected a shrug - an "I don't rat on my friends" kind of reaction. To my surprise, he said, "I'm going to kick his ass. He steals from me, but it's not cool to steal from my mom."

"I don't know it's him," I said. "I'm just asking. Maybe I should call him."

He shook his head. "I'll handle it."

"Maybe if I called his parents, and - "

"I've got it. Trust me."

He left soon after, promising he wouldn't resort to 1) violence, 2) retaliation, or 3) false accusations.

An hour later he returned, my iPod in hand. He'd skated to Kyle's house, and when Kyle's stepmom answered the door and said he was sleeping, my son said nonchalantly, "Oh, he borrowed my iPod. I was hoping to get it back."

She told him he was free to go in and retrieve it himself.

So he did, and it was definitely mine. It had all my songs - just minus the skin and a bit of battery power.

Anyway, it was nice letting my son step in and handle things for a change. I'm so used to taking care of myself, I'd forgotten what it's like to have a knight in shining armor.

And, FYI, I debated whether I should tell Kyle's parents anyway (I'd want to know if it were my son), but I know they're already trying really hard with him, just having taken full custody after his mom was thrown in prison...for theft. I couldn't think of anything positive that would come of telling them. His "punishment" is that he's not allowed in our home for a while, a sentence I had my son relay.

I don't know if I handled it right, but this was the first time I can recall that my son went 100% to bat for me. There was no way I was going to do anything to mess with it.

Life List Day 130 - Get a Pedicure

There are women who love pampering, and then there's me. It's not that I don't think I'm worth the trouble - it's more that it seems a chore rather than a pleasure.

I had my first (and only) pedicure a few years ago. I liked having colored toenails, but frankly I found the pedicure a bit painful. I went to some place in a mini mall called Nails! that had a big crowd, figuring, like a busy restaurant, it had to be a good sign. At one point, the pedicurist was massaging my feet, digging in so hard I nearly leapt from my chair. "If you want, I do extra 5 minutes for one dollar," he said. I wanted to say, "I'll pay you FIVE dollars to STOP," but I just said no thanks and grimaced my way through.

Today I went for a pedicure to see if I might be able to channel my inner diva and actually ENJOY it. After all, I do the Bikram yoga pretty regularly now, and it involves a lot of staring at your feet.

This time wasn't as miserable as the first, although I still can't say I enjoyed it.

But I do like having nice, pink toenails - Aphrodites Pink Nightie to be specific.

Life List Day 129 - Put Color in My Life

I've had white walls my entire adult life. I've always lived in rentals or - the few years I owned a house - I guess I was just into white.

Today, I decided I deserved some color in my life. Getting ready to move into a beach cottage, I asked if I could paint. My landlady said, "Have at it."

My friend, MJ, helped me pick a color. It literally took us hours. We just sat in there, looking at the walls, trying to decide what colors would bring the best feeling.

The winner: Sea green. (Well, actually, it's called "grasshopper," but I prefer the idea of being surrounded by the sea than by a bunch of grasshoppers.)

It's funny how a little thing like color can make a person feel so bold!

Life List Day 128 - Play Hardball...Figuratively Speaking

I hadn't realized that I'd been being double-billed for my DSL service for a year. When I called to fix it and get a credit, the customer service person said they only credit for three months. In other words, I was out more than $300 for their error. (Sure, I should have caught it, but if they hadn't made an error, I wouldn't have had to catch it).

Anyway, today, I went to transfer phone service, and - in a move very unlike me - I told them not to transfer DSL. I was going with a new provider because I was unhappy about how they ripped me off. (The part where this is unlike me is that the "old" me...the me not doing a life list...might have switched providers, but would never have TOLD them).

Lo and behold, suddenly they COULD do something about it!

Credit issued.

Lesson learned: Sometimes a threat works.

Life List Day 127 - Sign the Lease on a Beach House

I did it! My #1 thing I want to do is "live at the beach," and today I put a deposit and signed the lease on a cute little cottage on the beach. I move in August 1.

This is definitely one of those things I'd never have done if I didn't have it on my life list. I had just written my "top 5" maybe three weeks ago. I'd surprised myself with my desire to live at the beach - but as soon as I wrote it, I knew it was true.

Amazingly, days later, I passed a sign for a beach cottage up for rent... not beyond my price range (and believe me, my price range is not usually in beach house territory)... and I went on a whim to see it.

In a matter of days, I'll be living there.

Well, I guess I check THAT off the life list.

Life List Day 126 - Pinot Grigio

On Sunday evenings, I love capping off the weekend with a glass of Chardonnay. It's always Chardonnay.

Today - just to do something different - I tried a Pinot Grigio (Bella Sera).

I liked it! It was lighter & fruitier and perfect for summer.

Life List Day 125 - Go to the Whale & Ale

My friend, Irina, and I get together every now and then - we always hit one of a handful of nearby bars.

Today, seeking a change of pace, we left our neighborhood to go to the Whale & Ale, a British pub in San Pedro rumored to be lively and fairly authentic.

It did not deliver on the lively - it was pretty much Irina and me. As far as the authentic, I figured I couldn't be sure unless I had the fish & chips...which I did. Sure, it's a lot of grease & calories, but I was sacrificing for the sake of the life list. I don't know if it was authentic, but it sure was good.

Life List Day 124 - Harry Potter Party & Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans

My local Borders was hosting a Harry Potter party - and even though I was so tired that I could barely move, I somehow managed to propel myself from the couch, into my car, and to the store at 9:30 PM just as activities were getting underway.

I probably wouldn't have gone if I didn't have this life list, but I'm glad I did. All the people in costumes...the buzz of excitement...the general dorkiness of the occasion made it impossible to be grumpy.

There was no way I was going make it until midnight (when the new & last Harry Potter book goes on sale) so I bought a box of Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans and went on my way. (BTW, I will buy the book tomorrow - I'm so afraid of spoilers that I'll read this one a.s.a.p.)


When I got home, I called my son down from his room, and we worked our way through the flavors:

earwax
booger
sausage
black pepper
vomit
dirt
soap
rotten egg
pickle
earthworm

I don't know how those people on Fear Factor do things like eat blenders full of slugworms, because I was eating a candy I knew was nothing but sugar and flavoring, and I was nearly hurling. I was especially grossed out by booger, vomit and rotten egg...although I was determined to try them all. My son actually LIKED the sausage and dirt and ate them all (so I guess the next time he compliments my cooking, perhaps I shouldn't be all that flattered).

Life List Day 123 - See Harry Potter in Imax 3D

My son and I are going with friends tonight to see Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. Instead of going to the closest theater, we're driving a bit farther to see it on the big Imax screen and in 3D. It's supposed to be spectacular...I can't wait!

Life List Day 122 - My First TV Appearance!

Today I was a guest on a TV show called Living Live! - hosted by Florence Henderson (of Brady fame) and Meshach Taylor (from Designing Women) - talking about my novel and life lists. It's my first ever TV appearance, and I think I did a pretty swell job (my definition of "pretty swell" being I didn't pass out or wet myself from nerves).

Actually, I admitted to the producer that I was nervous because this was my first time on TV, and she said, "Don't worry. You'll be sitting right next to Florence, so you'll feel completely at ease. She's like everybody's mother. I swear, it'll be as if you were chatting with her in her living room."

I didn't have the heart to tell her that I'd also be nervous about chatting with Florence Henderson in her living room.

Anyway, she was right. Florence and Meshach were both funny and supportive - and my seven minutes of fame just flew by. (You hear that, Andy Warhol? I still have eight left!) I talked about how I had a mid-life crisis when I realized I was too old to ever get my bellybutton pierced, and about the timeI held a snake, and I gave some dos & don'ts for doing a life list.

Hopefully I'll be able to post a clip here. (And I can't believe I forgot my camera, so I didn't get a photo of me with Florence and Meshach...arrrgh!)

It's going to air on Tuesday, July 24, so if you happen to get the Retirement Living channel, check it out!

Life List Day 121 - Retire My Lucky Sweater

This is my lucky sweater.

I bought it about eight years ago, and I often wear it when I'm giving a speech or presentation because I just feel good in it. There's something about it that inspires confidence in me. It's bold, bright & straightforward...and when I wear it, so am I.

So today I pulled it out to get it ready for tomorrow. I'm going to be appearing on the Living Live TV show (!) on Retirement Living TV, talking about my book and life lists. I've never been on TV before, and I'm a nervous wreck.

It sounded like a job for the lucky sweater.

Alas...

Knowing I was going to be on camera inspired me to take a long, hard look at the sweater. I can't believe I've been going out in public in this thing. It's all pilly, stretched out, and there's a rip along the back collar. What's "lucky" is that no one has mistaken me for a homeless woman in it yet. It's funny how we can look at something again & again and never really SEE it.

It killed me, but I had to retire the sweater. And by retire, I mean throw away. It was really hard to let go of it - I was tempted to save it for sentimental reasons, but I feared I'd weaken and wear it. It needed to be a clean break.

I replaced it with a new sweater. This one:



I don't know if it's a lucky sweater ... those don't come around that often... but hopefully it'll get the job done.

Life List Day 120 - Issue an Impromptu Invitation

I'm always wishing I had friends over more. I've recently realized the first step is actually INVITING them. So on a whim, I asked a friend and her son over at the last minute for dinner (I made my famous Chicken Diablo*, which is famous for being one of the few things I know how to cook).

It was fun having people on a weeknight for no reason ... although somehow we lost track of time and we stayed up until 1 AM.

It wasn't so much fun this morning getting up.

But maybe if I make a point to do it more often, I'll get the timing down better.


Chicken Diablo

thinly sliced chicken breasts
Dijon mustard
red pepper flakes
bread crumbs

Spread a thin layer of mustard on one side of the chicken breast, shake on red pepper and coat in bread crumbs. Turn it over and repeat. Fry in an oiled pan a few minutes per side until cooked through inside & crispy outside.

Life List Day 119 - Compare & Contrast Pride and Prejudice and Bridget Jones's Diary Movies

I've known for a long time that Bridget Jones's Diary was based on Pride and Prejudice (although, truthfully, when I first read Bridget Jones, I didn't realize it was based on Jane Austen's famous novel, even though it happens to be my favorite book of all time ). Today, just for the fun of it, I watched both movies back-to-back with an eye toward noticing similarities and differences.

Of course, Bridget Jones = Elizabeth Bennett (albiet a chain-smoking borderline neurotic version of her). Mark Darcy = Mr. Darcy—they're both snobbish at the beginning and smitten by the end. Daniel Cleaver = Mr. Wickham—they're both cads.

I got a kick out of noticing the parallels in plot ... the entire love triangle between Bridget/Mark/Daniel and Elizabeth/Mr. Darcy/Mr. Wickham is almost identical. There are fun modern day twists from the old to the new: the country dance becomes a lunch buffet...letters become emails.

Too bad I didn't watch the BBC version of P & P due to time. Otherwise I could have had a double-dose of the smoldering Colin Firth.

Life List Day 118 - Take a Step Toward My Dream Beach House

The #1 item on my life list "top 5" is to live on the beach — ideally on a walkstreet (which has all the ambiance of the beach, without the craziness).

Today, I made a HUGE step in that direction, putting in an application to rent an absolutely adorable little house.

I thought it'd be a long time before I'd be able to cross off my top item, but I saw it for rent, and I just knew I had to try to get it. It's more than I want to pay. I'd have to move (again). It's completely crazy and impractical and I hope, hope, hope I get it.

Fingers crossed ... !

Life List Day 116 - Give a Whooooooooohoooooooo!

I'm no jock, so every time the instructor in the spinning class I've been taking on Fridays tells us to "cheer each other on," I smile encouragingly but let the others do the whoo-hooing.

It's not that I don't enjoy a good whoo-hoo. I'm just not one to do them myself.

Today, I decided I'd sponged off others' whoo-hoos long enough. After all, if everybody did what I did, we'd just be listening to Cher with no encouraging noises at all.

So, yes, upon being urged to do so, I whoo-hooed.

I won't lie: at first, I was quite self-conscious. This may actually be my first athletic whoo-hoo. Ever. After a bit, however, I was whoo-hooing with the best of them. I even tossed in a "you go girl!" or two.

Does this make me a jock?

And is butt-slapping next?

Life List Day 115 - Go from No Pudge to No Hunger

Today I decided to try No Pudge Fudge Brownie Mix - a fat-free mix that I heard is supposed to be pretty good.


As I mixed the brownies, I noticed on the box in tiny writing at the bottom:

"The next time you sit down at your computer, visit thehungersite.com"

Out of curiosity, I went. It's a site that promises to donate money to feed the hungry if you simply click on a button. You can visit it daily, and every time you do, they donate cash to feed the hungry.

Oh what a sad world we live in that my first thought was: It's a hoax.

So I went to urbanlegends.about.com
Apparently it's the real deal. Advertisers donate 3 cents per click, according to the myth-busting site, which said, "All the available evidence indicates that the Hunger Site, founded by private citizen John Breen as a personal contribution to improving the plight of the world's poor, is completely legitimate and really works."

So now thehungersite.com is bookmarked so I can fight hunger daily.

Oh, and the brownies are done, so I can fight a bit of hunger right now!

Life List Day 114 - Clarify the Lyrics

I was in the car singing along with Elton John's "Tiny Dancer" - nice & loud to hear myself over the complaints of my 15-year-old in the back seat - when I realized: I've probably sung this song a hundred times (maybe more) and I'm really iffy on some of the lyrics.

Today, I finally took the few minutes to look them up. Here's where I've been going oh-so-wrong:

My version:

hold me closer tiny dancer
count the headlines on the highway
lay me down and she's a planet
you had a visitor today

Elton's version:

hold me closer tiny dancer
count the headlights on the highway
lay me down in sheets of linen
you had a busy day today

So now I know the words, although I'm wondering if I like my version better. When his tiny dancer was a planet and had a visitor, I sort of thought the song was about a crazy lady who'd been a groupie but was now in a mental hospital. Now I think it's just about a groupie he fell in love with.

Although I'm still not sure why she's in his hand.

It makes me wonder what other lyrics I've been getting wrong.

Life List Day 113 - Lunch at a Persian Restaurant

Today I met my friend, Kirsten, for lunch at Fanoos, a Persian restaurant in Torrance. I have no idea if I've ever had Persian food before, but when I asked another friend what she thought I could expect, she said, "Meat."

Yep. The menu was pretty much meat, meat and more meat.

So I decided on the meat (chicken actually, in kabob form). It also came with a salad, yellow rice, a pita, and a really yummy whole roasted tomato.

At the end of the meal, the waiter brought us a small chunk of baklava on a plate - like you'd get a fortune cookie at a Chinese restaurant. I'm sure the calories are about the same, too. Heh.

Now I can check "try Persian food" off my list of things to do in my life.

Life List Day 112 - One Can Closer to Kicking the Habit

I'm trying to kick the Diet Coke habit.

After all, here I am: eating organic veggies, free range chicken, natural eggs... and washing it down with a big can of chemicals. I used to drink it by the gallon (or by the 2-liter anyway). I've weaned myself down to three 12-oz cans a day (starting with the one I crack first thing in the morning...mmmmm).

Today, in honor of my life list, I cut one of them, and vowed that I'd keep it up. I'm going to try to limit myself to two a day. Instead, I'll treat myself to a Perrier or one of those cool new waters, like the Metromint water I recently discovered.

(Got that Aunt Marcy?!? Are you happy?! You can stop sending me those links to web sites about the evils of Nutrasweet now, OK?!!)

Life List Day 111 - Kwik-E-Mart

7-Eleven recently turned a dozen stores in the U.S. into Kwik-E-Marts, the fictional convenience stores of "The Simpsons" fame, as part of a campaign to hype the July 27 opening of "The Simpsons Movie."

Today I made a special trip to check one out in Burbank, about 45 minutes from where I live. (A friend and I detoured there on our way back from a trip to the Palm Springs area.)

There was actually a line to get into the store - but the crowd was lively and friendly (as were the staff, who were clearly getting a kick out of the whole thing, as if it were Halloween in July). The 7-Eleven sign had been converted to a Kwik-E-Mart sign. They sold Buzz Cola, Squishees (a Simpsons knockoff of Slurpees), and cartoonishly pink donuts ...of which I bought a half-dozen. No Duff beer, however.

I have no idea why I was so excited about this, but I was - maybe because I like The Simpsons. Or maybe because I appreciate a really good marketing gimmick - which this was.

Life List Day 110 - Hit the Casino on 7-7-7

Today being July 7, 2007 - or 7-7-7 - my friend, Mary Jo, suggested we hit a casino, both in honor of such a "lucky" day and also our friend, Sue's, birthday. Vegas was more of a trek than we wanted, so we decided to check out the Morongo Casino in Cabazon (near Palm Springs).

The bad news: So did everybody else and their brother. The casino was MOBBED. Literally every one of the 2,000 slot machines and 100-plus gaming tables was occupied. There was a sort of low hum of despair rather than the buzz of hope (and the occasional clanging of a winning slot machine) that I've come to associate with a casino. At one point, Mary Jo gazed around at the teeming masses and said, "It looks like Ellis Island."

We killed time at a nightclub hoping things would clear out. They didn't. Around midnight we stood at the bank of video roulette tables and tried to start the wave (two guys participated, but then it died).

At 1:30 AM my friend dove for a vacated nickel slot machine.

By 2 AM - tired of the crowds and the confusing slot machines (one of us got a 777 and it didn't pay anything) we gave up and went to Denny's for breakfast.

OK. Even though it wasn't the gambling fest we'd hoped for, the evening wasn't a total bust: I left 40 cents up on the slots...and the experience was SO bad, it was good.

Life List Day 109 - Lunch at Tender Greens...and a Stolen Table

I met the gals today for lunch at Tender Greens in Culver City, a great little place that serves local, organic salads and lunch plates.

What I enjoy about this restaurant is that the food actually tastes like food. I had the chinese chicken salad and - instead of being lettuce drowned in some overly-sweet dressing - the dressing was light, and I could actually taste the spicy greens they used. My friend ordered a salad with heirloom tomatoes so juicy and bright they looked like candy.

We sat on an outside patio and had a lovely lunch. After our plates were cleared and we were sipping our iced teas, a busboy came up and told us they needed our table for a party of seven.

It was a bit strange - I've never been so hastily disposed of at a restaurant - but we figured it's a busy place, so we moved to a table in the front for a few minutes until we were ready to leave.

Before driving home, I decided to hit the restroom. As I did, I passed the guy who kicked us off our table for that "party of seven" which, as it turned out, WAS HIM!!

I suppose a better woman would have been appalled, perhaps complained to management. I just laughed, reported back to my friends (who also laughed)..and then I paid my friend Mary Jo a dollar to go take his picture.

Here he is:



I can hardly begrudge him the table - he looks so happy!

Life List Day 108 - Indulge My Curiosity

I was browsing the classified ads of my local paper, looking for used bike. There were ads for furniture, computer parts, exercise equipment...and then I came across this:

REACH MOUTHWASH, 18 OZ. Brand new. $2

Immediately, I thought, WHY? Why would someone go through the bother and expense of placing a classified ad, taking calls, letting someone into their home... to sell a $2 bottle of mouthwash?!

This is the sort of thing that eats at me.

So I called.

At first, I said, "Whoops, wrong number," and hung up when a woman answered, because I'm that big a coward. Besides, I didn't want her to think I was making fun of her. I just wanted to KNOW.

So I waited...and then I called again.

This time when she answered, I said, "I'm calling about the mouthwash. Is it still for sale?" Real innocent...like I figured a hot item like that was likely to have been snatched up immediately.

"Yes, it is," she replied.

So I asked a few questions, like what flavor it was (mint), and where she was located (within a couple miles). I couldn't figure out a way to ask WHY she'd be selling it when she said, "Well, I have a few of them. So any time you want to stop by, feel free."

Ahhhhhhhhh. Mystery solved. She probably inherited a case somehow - maybe she was a gameshow winner and got a lifetime supply - so stood to make more than just a couple bucks.

After I hung up, it occured to me I still didn't know how she could justify the cost of a classified ad, even if she did have several bottles.

So I called the classified department of the newspaper.

Turns out, ads up to two lines are free.

And I can now sleep at night.

Life List Day 107 - Fireworks

OK, so it's nothing new, but it WAS impromptu! I hadn't planned anything for Fourth of July. This afternoon, I happened to be chatting with a friend who mentioned she could see fireworks from her yard. I invited myself over - yes, I am that shameless - and celebrated a holiday I'd had every intention of ignoring.

Life List Day 106 - Walk in the Sand Vs. the Strand

Whenever I go for a walk at the beach, I always walk along The Strand - the paved walkway that runs along the ocean, rather than the sand itself.

Today, I went the extra few yards to walk along the edge of the water.

I was amazed, 1) how different it felt looking at the water rather than houses, and 2) how much harder it was to walk on the sand vs. pavement (my calves may not speak to me tomorrow).

The bonus: getting to see a herd (gaggle? bunch?) of dolphin, which I'd never have spotted from The Strand.

Life List Day 105 - Switch to an Environmentally Friendly Drycleaners

I don't do a lot of drycleaning, but I feel guilty every time I drop off what few things I do have professionally cleaned. I know the chemicals they use are bad for the air, but there's only so much handwashing I'm willing to do. Like none.

Today, I looked at the pile of dirty clothes in the corner of my room and sighed. It seems ridiculous to have to choose between clean clothes and clean air.

Then I had a brilliant idea. I went to my local air district's web site and - lo and behold - they had a list of environmentally-friendly cleaners. As it turned out, there was one less than a mile from me.

It's a bit more expensive than the cleaner I usually use, but not much.

Besides, I got to feel all do-goody, and it's hard to put a price on that.

Life List Day 104 - Tilt-a-Whirl for One

It was a gorgeous day today so I took a walk on the beach near the Redondo Beach pier. Looking for something to do for my life list, I detoured to the arcade and - on a whim - bought a ticket for the Tilt-a-Whirl. So what if I was by myself?

Turned out, I wasn't just alone in my car - I was the only person on the ride...period!

At first, I felt sort of silly, swirling around all by myself. But soon my giggles won out over my self-consciousness. I LOVE rides (my dream is to live near Six Flags, buy a season pass, and start every day with a roller coaster ride...how fun would that be??).

Until that day, this was a nice little jolt of joy. I'll definitely add it to my walk again.

And maybe some skeeball too.

Life List Day 103 - Get a Book on CD

As much of a bookworm as I am (and I am), I've never listened to a book on tape or CD.

I was at the library today and decided it was about time to give one a try.

I'll be honest - I'm skeptical. I've been to quite a few author's readings, and I have a hell of a time staying focused...guess I'm one of those visual people. I always hope they'll bring slides. Or maybe puppets.

Still, I'd love to be able to fill a roadtrip with a book rather than listening to the radio. Or how great would it be to want stretch my workout because I just can't stop before I hear the end of a chapter?

I chose Native Tongue by Carl Hiaasen - I had The Great Gatsby in my hand (I've always meant to read it, and thought I could kill two life list birds with one stone) - but since I fear my short auditory attention span could be a problem, I thought I'd go for a page turner.

I loaded it onto my iPod & will try it out tomorrow in my workout.

Anybody out there a fan of books on tape or CD?

Life List Day 102 - Finally Cook the Asparagus

I don't know what it is about asparagus that makes me buy it again and again - and never get around to cooking it. I'm sure it somehow goes back to my childhood. I'm playing out some sort of neglect issues.

Yesterday I bought asparagus.

And today, ladies and gentlemen, I cooked it.

I steamed it until crispy tender. The entire process took about two minutes - which was good because I'm working against a deadline and two minutes is about all I had for my life list today.

(But when I have a little more time, I intend to try one of the recipes at asparagusrecipes.net - thanks for passing that along, Caitlin!)

Life List Day 101 - Take My Work Out to Play

People always ask me, "Where do you write?" I know what they're hoping I'll say. There is in our culture the romantic notion of a writer, cozied up in a coffee shop, scribbling away on a notepad while sipping mug after mug of brew. Or maybe on the beach. Or a table at an outdoor cafe.

Which is why I hate to answer it truthfully: I write on a laptop, usually parked on my couch or - if I'm feeling especially frisky - my dining room table.

Today, I decided to take on the fantasy and write in a coffee shop. I went the Catalina Coffee Company in Redondo Beach, which is cool in that "matching furniture is for sissies" sort of way.

I loved it! I got myself an iced tea, snuggled into a chair, and wrote away (on my laptop - I won't even write a note longhand anymore). I'm not bothered by noise, and I actually found the general hubbub quite energizing. I'll definitely go there again (plus I hear they have the best Cobb salad in town).

Life List Day 100 - Pause & Reflect About 100 Days of Tiny Adventures

Today is the 100th day since I started my life list where I do something new, fun or challenging every day.

So far, it's been an amazing experience. Most of the things I've done haven't been big - holding a snake, eating a new fruit, trying new restaurants, pulling out my old clarinet, rediscovering jogging, enjoying a drive through the Jacaranda trees - yet it's added up to a sense of fun in my life that I realize had been missing. Every day, there's a part of me that's more awake than ever before & wondering...what will I do today? What sense of joy will I find along the way?

Some days I plan (I looked forward to taking my guinea pigs racing for days). Most I play by ear.

I can't wait for the next 100 days!

Any suggestions for what I might want to try?

Life List Day 99 - A "Party Line" Book Club With Distinctly Diva

Woo hoo - one day to go to 100!

I marked it with an hour-long book club hosted by Distinctly Diva, a community of women who "want to put fun back into their lives and live a life that they love," according to founder Maureen O'Crean, author of I Am Diva.

Even though I've done a lot of book clubs, readings, interviews, etc., I was nervous about this one because it involved a "party line" call-in.

In other words: unknown technology.

That always scares me. I'm sure that I'm going to press some button that will - oh, I don't know - launch a rocket that will start World War III or something. As it turned out, we DID have some technical difficulties...and you know what? We survived! And I got to "meet" a bunch of great ladies.

Life List Day 98 - Face the Worst of Horrors...Swimsuit Shopping

After a while, I get tired of starring in my own Cathy cartoon strip - screaming "AAACK" from the dressing room as I try on swimsuits.

Today, at the suggestion of my Aunt Marcy, I bought a suit online at Lands' End, thus avoiding all that misery... or at least postponing it until it arrives in the mail.

The cool part: I could actually try it on a model based on my measurements (although you have to take it with a grain of salt - the swimsuit fits neatly over her proportions, no annoying riding up like happens in real life). And maybe the worst of horrors wasn't buying the swimsuit - it was taking my measurements so I could.

Life List Day 97 - Cuddle a Puppy

I'm not a dog person, but who could resist this?

My friend, Kirsten, and I took our sons to a skate shop opening, and I was thinking that would be my "thing" I'd do for my life list for the day. It was a bit of a bust for us (the boys liked it), so we decided to do some poking around the mini mall instead. That's when we found the puppy store.

I would never normally walk into a store called Puppies for the simple reason stated above - I'm not a dog person. I don't dislike them - I was just raised with cats, and now I have the pigs. I find dogs a bit too eager to please. (Which I suppose could be quite the insight into my love life - how my #1 objection to a species is that they WANT me.)

Anyway, Kirsten and I totally fell in love with a little spaniel pup. She was sweet, flirty, petite - and I finally understood where the term "puppy dog eyes" came from.

If I was allowed a dog in my apartment - and if I had a spare $1,200 to spend - I'd have definitely tossed her in my purse and brought her home.

Life List Day 96 - 3 Musketeers Mint Chocolate Bar

I'm starting to understand why I'm not having a lot of success with with diet I started on Day 38. It's stuff like today: Discovering that 3 Musketeers Bars now come in mint flavor with dark chocolate coating.

I wasn't sure if this was one of those "limited time only" things, so I figured I'd better go for it now.

Did you believe me on that one? Or did it just sound like a cheap excuse to eat a candy bar?

(And, for the record, what a candy bar it was: minty, fluffy, yummy.)

Life List Day 95 - Lunch With Someone I Met on MySpace

I've constantly warned my son not to meet up in person with anyone he "meets" on MySpace, yet today, I did just that.

After months of messaging back and forth, I finally met an author I befriended on the site: Carol Snow, who wrote a very funny book called Getting Warmer.

It felt strangely like a blind date waiting for her at the restaurant. I was looking for someone who looked like this (the author photo on her book jacket):


I was a little nervous "Carol Snow" might not really be the author but rather, this guy (whose pic I used to have on my son's computer as a screen saver, just to remind him who "cute, nice girl" might really be):



As it turned out, it really was Carol, and we had a great time talking for four hours about all kinds of authory things - the highs (seeing your novel for the first time in a store) and the lows (book signings where nobody shows up but your mother).

I love how the Internet connects me with people all over the world - but every now and then, it's fun to see a cyber-friend become a real friend.

(And Danny, if you're reading this, do as I say, not as I do.)

Life List Day 94 - Write Down 5 Things I Want Do in 10 Years

My friend, Monica, is hosting a book club meeting with my book, The Next Thing on My List, and she's asked us all to bring a list of five things we want to do within the next 10 years.

Oddly enough, even though I wrote a novel about a woman doing a life list, I don't have one of my own.

So here's my top 5:

1. Live on the beach (in a house, not literally ON the beach)
2. Walk the red carpet at a movie premiere based on one of my novels
3. Have a closet full of clothes that actually FIT me
4. Volunteer my time regularly to something I care about
5. Oh, what the heck: Be in love

What's your top five?

Life List Day 93 - Set the Alarm for 5:30 AM

I'll be honest: this is a substitute activity. Originally, I'd planned to do a virtual book club hosted by Distinctly Diva- but a problem with the phone lines postponed the call for a week and left me with nothing done for my life list at 8 PM. (And I'd been looking forward to So You Think You Can Dance all week, so not even my life list was going to drag me away from my TV at that point!)

So instead, I set my alarm. 5:30 AM.

That's it, but it's a bigger deal than it might seem. For quite some time, I've been trying to rally to wake up earlier. I learned when writing my last novel that I'm my most creative in the wee hours - I can put down more pages between 6 and 9 AM than I can in an entire day.

This means I need to go to bed at 10:00. It means I need to actually get up when it's dark, start up my laptop, and write before my brain wakes up and starts thinking about things like email/errands/worries rather than the story I'm working on.

Well, nighty-night!

Life List Day 92 - Play the Lottery

I'm always saying how I'd love to win the lottery - but I never actually buy a ticket, which I think really stands in the way of the likelihood that I'll win.

Today, I went to my local 7-11 & bought a scratcher lottery ticket and two Super Lotto tickets (one "Quikpik" and one where I played my roulette numbers, including lucky numbers 11, 12 and 27).

The scratcher, as it turned out, was a bust.

The Super Lotto I won't know about until tomorrow (so if there's a headline that begins Woo - hoo!, you'll know).

I know the odds are, like, a billion to one, but that's better than if I hadn't bought a ticket at all. All in all, a fair amount of entertainment for three bucks.

Life List Day 91 - Go for a Destination Walk

On the days I don't go to the gym, I sort of propel myself out the door and attempt to walk for an hour or so.

Today, instead of just wandering, I decided to pick a destination and aim for it. I've been meaning to check out a new Conrans store that opened a couple miles from me. That's where I walked.

As for the experience, I have one word:

Meh.

On the plus side, I walked farther and with more purpose than usual.

On the negative side, I walked on busy, exhaust-choked streets. Plus, when I got where I was going, turned out it wasn't Conrans (a furniture store I remember fondly from the '80s), but rather Crate & Barrel, which I already get a catalog for.

Ah well. There are 365 days in a year in which for me to try new things - they can't all be winners.

I have to remember that, sometimes, the reward is in the effort.

Life List Day 91 - Learn to Tie a Tie

With today being Father's Day, it makes me think of all the things my son's dad isn't around to teach him (having died five years ago when Danny was nine).

Today, I decided to take on one of those "dad things." (I thought about teaching Danny to shave, but he's already figured that one out on his own - and may soon need to teach me, as I'm not that many years away from chin hairs.)

Anyway, I taught him to tie a tie.

In order to do so, I had to learn it myself - which I did by googling the instructions shown above.

I figure it'll come in handy for him at some point... and for me as well if the Annie Hall look ever comes back in vogue.

Life List Day 90 - Make a Decision

I've been waffling back and forth on a decision for months now.

Last night, I told myself that today, I was just going to decide. This being in limbo has been sucking the life out of me, so my plan was to look at all my options and JUST PICK ONE ALREADY.

Not to get too earth mama on you, but I woke up this morning, prepared to weigh my choices carefully and make the best decision I could. As it turned out, I didn't need to. I woke up AND JUST KNEW.

OK.

That's it.

Today, for my life list task, I decided.

(As to WHAT I decided, sorry, that's kind of none of your beeswax. But thanks for asking!)

Life List Day 89 - See What's at the Top of the Stairs

Talk about a failure of curiosity - I live in a building of four townhouse-style apartments, with this staircase separating the front and back apartments:



Even though I've passed the staircase (that leads up to a UNLOCKED GATE no less!) literally hundreds of times, it's never occurred to me to see what's up there. Or maybe I just assumed it must be off limits. Or not be very interesting or else the landlady would have TOLD me it's off limits.

After living here for nearly a year - it finally dawned it me that it might be something good. For all I knew, there could be a jacuzzi up there. And a pool. With cabana boys.

So today, in honor of my life list, I tiptoed up there. This is it:



OK, not so much an LA-style paradise as a NY-style roof where, say, people might sit on their lunch hours trying to grab a tan. At least now I know!

Besides, it's sturdy enough to bring my own inflatable pool, and for that matter, private enough to bring my own cabana boy (preferably not of the inflatable variety).

Life List Day 88 - Try for Myself "The Best Fries in L.A."

Los Angeles Weekly dubbed Skooby's french fries the best in L.A. - extra exciting since there's actually a Skooby's near me in Hermosa Beach, right on Pacific Coast Highway. I pass it all the time and think, "I ought to try those fries." Today, I finally got around it. I didn't have a lot of hope. A fry is a fry, I figured (I was intrigued mostly because the Weekly never includes anything near me in its "best of" list.)

So I tried the fries...and nearly wept from joy.

They really ARE the best fries in L.A.! Quite possibly the world!

The reviewer described them as "a mix of strips and chips, twice-fried in peanut oil until sienna-brown, crisp but still soft inside, and tossed with salt and special seasoning. The little serving of 'gourmet dipping sauce' (garlic-and-roasted-red-pepper mayonnaise) pushes the good-grease level off the charts."

Yeah. What he said.

Life List Day 87 - Pull Out the Ol' Clarinet

I played clarinet for eight years and was in my high school marching band and orchestra. (Yes, I was also in yearbook, student government and national honor society... what's your point?) Anyway, even though it was so much a part of my life, after graduation, I put my clarinet away and never gave it a thought again. It's not like I had any great musical talent or passion. I only ever practiced so I could kick Rob Stevens's ass when he tried to challenge me for my chair.

Today, I pulled out my clarinet. I had to go buy reeds before I could play it, and I'm here to say: It's nothing like riding a bike. I couldn't remember a thing. The sheet music I'd found in my case may as well have been written in Russian. (Maybe it was - it was Shostakovich.)

I managed to honk out a scale - and was feeling pretty lousy that that was all I could do - when my 15-year-old son came charging into my room and exclaimed, "Hey! You can play!" And not even sarcastically.

My confidence thus bouyed, I wowed him with Mary Had a Little Lamb (which I can also plink out on a piano) ... all in all, a fun little trip down a musical memory lane. I can't see me taking lessons or anything, but if it astounded my son this much, just imagine how it'll go over at parties.

Life List Day 86 - Go Hands-Free

I once threw up the night before a three-minute speech because I was so nervous.

Doing book readings, signings, etc., however, has forced me to get over my stage fright.

That said, I sure do like a podium to hide behind.

Today, I had a speaking engagement in front of about a hundred people, and when I was asked if I'd like a hands-free mike, I gulped, pulled my shoulders back bravely, and said, "Sure!" I figure if I ever get invited on Oprah or Ellen, I'll have to be comfortable with one. So I pinned the mike to my lapel, fastened the receiver to my belt loop, and gave it my best shot.

It was quite freeing! I was able to point and gesture and wander around while I spoke - although when a joke I told fell a little flat, I didn't have anything to tap and say, "Is this thing on?"

Life List Day 85 - Sponsor a Woman Survivor of War

Today I signed on to sponsor a woman survivor of war through Women for Women International .

I've been wanting to do this for quite a while, so today I did. It's $27 a month, and the money goes to give a woman from a war-torn region (Afghanistan, Iraq, Rwanda, or the Congo, etc.) financial and emotional aid, job-skills training, rights education and small business assistance so she can rebuild her life.

Once I'm matched with a woman, they asked that I write letters to her. (I was a bit nervous about committing to that, but then I said to myself, wait! I write for a living! How hard could it be?)

Anyway, I knew it was the right thing to do when I watched the little video on their web site and started blubbering.

My cry-dar never fails.

Life List Day 84 - My Own Personal Watermelon!

How did I miss this? How did I not know about the evolutionary miracle that is the personal watermelon? I didn't think science could improve upon going seedless, but I was at the grocery store and saw a watermelon that could fit in my hand and - more importantly - in my refrigerator. I bought one for me and one for Danny. No need to share!

As if that weren't exciting enough, I googled "personal watermelon" only to find out this fun tidbit that I offer to you today in honor of my life list: In Japan, they grow watermelons in various shapes.

Like this:



And this:

Life List Day 83 - Go to a Performance of the California Theatrical Youth Ballet

I went because my cousin, Danica, had a solo in a pre-show to the ballet (that's her in the photo...she's a cutie!).

I managed to nab a seat in the front row, and the theater was so small, I literally pulled in my feet a few times for fear I'd trip a dancer.

Seeing professional dancers do their thing is always lovely - but seeing a not-quite-pro show like this was downright fascinating. Not yet to the point where they knew how to put on a disguise of effortlessness, there was no missing how HARD these dancers were working. They sweated. They strained to control their breathing. They made noise when their feet hit the floor. (Kind of like what I do walking up the stairs these days.)

Anyway, with some of the illusion stripped away, it was a reminder to me of both the physical limitations and the amazing capacity of the human body... of the effort it takes to really keep these things we call our bodies humming.

That said, I think I'll go the gym now.

Life List Day 82 - Snub Starbucks

I don't even like coffee, but when someone says, "Let's meet for coffee," I always suggest meeting up at Starbucks. I have no idea why. They don't serve unsweetened iced tea, which would be my beverage of choice in the morning. I suppose I lean toward Starbucks for the simple reason that they're everywhere. I don't have to think.

Today, when a friend suggested grabbing a coffee, I said, "How about anywhere BUT Starbucks?"

She suggested a local place called Java Man which, to my delight, not only had passion fruit iced tea, but free Wi-Fi.

Another tiny victory for my life list.

Life List Day 81 - Don't Take My Son His Homework

After dropping Danny off at school this morning, I came home to see he left his Science homework on the table.

I'd said, "Did you pack your towel for PE? Did you get your essay from the printer? Do you have lunch money?" "Where's your retainer case?" Because I didn't specifically say, "Did your homework make it from the table into your backpack?" it didn't get done. This kid is 15 - three years away from independence - and I sometimes wonder because I don't say, "Did you wipe your ass?" after he goes to the bathroom if it actually gets done. Actually, I don't want to know.

Anyway, Danny needs every point he can get in school- I know even if he doesn't that even one assignment could tip the scale on a grade between really crappy and just plain crappy. Therefore, I thought about all the ways I could somehow get him that homework to turn in on time. All of them involved me calling/driving/doing what clearly at this point my son should be doing for himself.

So I didn't.

That's my big achievement for the day.

Honestly, it's one of the harder things I've done...and I know I need to be doing it more.

Life List Day 80 - Drive Through the Jacaranda Trees

I'm telling you, this photo doesn't do them justice. Driving through Jacaranda trees when they're in bloom is like traveling under a gigantic, fluffy, lavender umbrella. There's something about it that makes me positively giddy.

We don't have Jacaranda where I live by the beach (all we have are those damned bottle brush trees that drop red bristles all over my car).

I happened to be in Beverly Hills today. Once I realized it was Jacaranda season, I was inspired to take a detour to look for tree-lined streets. Truthfully, I wouldn't have bothered if I weren't doing the life list. I'd have noticed a tree here and there, said, "hmm, pretty," and that would have been that. But the life list made me think, "I know some of these streets have LOTS of them, and, by golly, I'm going to find them!"

Which I did.

Life List Day 79 - Conquer My Self-Cleaning Oven

I've had a few baking - let's say - incidents, which have resulted in a very nasty layer of goo at the bottom of my oven. And by "my" oven, I mean the oven that came with my apartment. I've typically rented from slumlords before and, therefore, have never had a fancy self-cleaning oven like the one I have now. For that matter, I don't think I've ever had an oven made after the 1970s. So I've had no clue how to work it. It may be self cleaning, but it's clearly looking for some sort of direction from me.

Today, I set out to make that oven clean itself if it was the last thing I ever did.

There's no manual. At first, I just started pressing buttons. Then I tried looking up instructions on the Internet. That failing, I called my mom. I called the landlord. My son got in on the act. I went back to pressing buttons. I was getting carpal tunnel in my index finger, but I hoped I'd eventually find the mystery combination of buttons... and I did!

Suddenly, the "self cleaning oven" light lit, and the oven sealed itself like a bomb shelter.

After about 20 minutes, my house was filled with noxious smoke.

"Is this supposed to happen?" my son asked nonchalantly, eating ice cream from a carton while I threw open windows and did a google search under "oven self cleaning smoke normal harmful death?" You'd be surprised how many web sites come up for that - one of which assured me that we'd be fine (but small animals could be harmed, which was why Joan and Scruffy's cage went outside for a few hours...they're still squeaking about it).

Anyway, it wasn't the most glamorous thing to do for my life list, but it sure was exciting.

Life List Day 78 - Call in to a Book Club

On my web site at jillsmolinski.com, I offer to call in to reading groups that choose THE NEXT THING ON MY LIST as their book selection. Tonight, I talked via speakerphone to a lively bunch of ladies from from Spring Haven, Michigan. (Hollah!) I had a great time...it's alway fun to get to meet readers, even if it is from 2,500 miles away.

Life List Day 77 - Get a Massage at the Car Wash

Some of my most enjoyable life list tasks seem to happen right after I say, "Oh, what the hell."

Like today's: I was at the car wash, and I noticed in the waiting area they had a massage chair. Five minutes for $1.

Normally I wouldn't have given it a thought, but I needed to do something for my life list, so I said - you guessed it - "Oh, what the hell."

Granted, I felt a bit silly sitting in the chair on full display of the other customers. I inserted my dollar bill, reminiscing about those "Magic Fingers" beds that were in some of the very fine hotels I stayed in as a kid. This, as it turned out, wasn't like that. There wasn't any jiggling and vibrating. It was more like a big fist built into the chair that ran up and down my back. It felt pretty good, actually.

So good, in fact, that I sprang for an extra five minutes.

Life List Day 75 - A Failure Due to Cowardice...and an "Oh, Well"

This is the guy who lives next door to me. Several times a week, he walks to the end of the driveway, faces the busy street, and sings while playing guitar. I can't figure it out - why?!? Why does he do it? Traffic moves too fast for anyone to notice him. He's drowned out by the noise of passing cars. Does he pretend he's in a nightclub? Does the wind in his hair aid his strumming? Today, I was going to wander by - all nonchalant-like - and ask him what he's doing.

I chickened out.

A bit later, I wanted to yell at a bunch of rowdy teenagers who were giggling/talking/answering cellphones while I was trying to watch the movie, Waitress (BTW, liked it, but not as much as I'd thought I would).

I couldn't work up the nerve.

So for my life list: today I realize that bravery doesn't come overnight. Sometimes I'll take on the hard tasks - and have. And sometimes I won't.

It's all baby steps. And I'm making them every day.

Life List Day 74 - Buy Eyeshadow from a Drugstore

This is the Chanel eyeshadow I bought a while back for $27.



This is the Cover Girl eyeshadow I bought today for $2.97.



The last time I bought eyeshadow this cheap was probably in junior high. Bonne Bell. Bright green. Gooey. It came in a tub and you sort of globbed it on with a fingertip. Somehow I skipped straight from that to the department store cosmetic counters and their claims that high price = high quality.

But today I was at Rite Aid, I needed new shadow, and I said, What the hell. It's just plain neutral-toned powder for my lids - what's the big deal? Why am I being such a sucker and paying so much? So I took the Cover Girl challenge and, turns out, I can't tell the difference.

I feel positively liberated. I'll never be ripped off by cosmetics companies again!

Anyway, with the money I saved, maybe I'll buy that new anti-aging creme from Kinerase. It's $79 for a small tube, but Courtney Cox swears by it.

Life List Day 73 - Shop at a New Market

I remember a time when my friends and I would get excited about a new nightclub - now it's a new grocery store that has us all abuzz.

Today I checked out a market called Sprouts that just opened near me. I have to say, it was an adventure! They specialize in locally grown produce, a lot of it organic - and unlike when I shop at Whole Foods - I didn't have to take out a bank loan to pay for a cart of groceries.

Because this was something I was doing for my life list, I took my time. I chatted with the butcher (who talked me into buying organic steak for my beef-deprived son), picked out a few things from the bulk foods bin, and decided to try yet again to purchase asparagus to see if I do more than give it a ride home, a place in the refigerator for a week or so, and then a toss into the trash can.

Life List Day 71 - Not Just Mac & Cheese but DEEP-FRIED Mac & Cheese

As if Mac & Cheese isn't fattening enough, I went bowling with friends today and tried DEEP-FRIED macaroni & cheese: cheese & pasta rolled into balls, dipped in batter & fried. Yum.

Hopefully it'll hold me over until I can find those deep-fried Twinkies I've always wanted to taste but have yet to find. (Guess I don't go to enough county fairs.)

Life List Day 70 - Read All Morning

I had a big fat to-do list for today: laundry, grocery shopping, cleaning the guinea pigs' cage and a few other tasks of that ilk.

At 8:00 this morning, I started reading Charlaine Harris's book, All Together Dead, the latest in the Sookie Stackhouse vampire mystery series.

It wasn't until t 3:00 when friends arrived to go to an art fair that I reluctantly put it down.

So tomorrow I'll wear dirty clothes, eat leftovers, apologize to the pigs for the squalor . . . it was definitely worth it.

Life List Day 69 - Lunch at a Japanese BBQ

I met a friend for lunch at Sansui-Tei in Torrance. It's one of those Japanese barbeques where you grill your own meat & veggies right at your table. I've always wanted to go to one and never have. (Considering I've had Lean Cuisines for dinner the past few evenings, I found it ironic that it wasn't until I went out for food that I actually cooked.)

The food was yummy - turns out I'm quite the chef! My friend, Kirsten, schooled me on the proper use of sauces. I am by nature not an adventurous eater - I'm the one poking suspiciously at food at a restaurant, making sure there's nothing 1) icky, 2) squishy, 3) weird in it. Sauces are always particularly suspect, but this BBQ place had some sort of garlicky soy sauce that I wanted to stash in my purse and bring home.

The highlight: the moist towelette at the end of lunch (love those), followed by a stick of Juicy Fruit tucked in with the check.

That's when you know you're at a classy place.

Life List Day 68 - Pirates! Orlando Ahoy!

This one falls under the category of "fun" in my list list: I have tickets for the 5:30 showing of Pirates of the Caribbean, featuring my man Orlando Bloom. I can't wait!

I'm going with a friend and our sons - Danny will refuse to sit near me because I have a habit of sighing a lot when Orlando comes on the screen.

In my defense, I don't usually go for the model-good-looks type. When I was married, my "List of 3" (that is, the men I was allowed to sleep with guilt-free if opportunity arose) was usually John Cusack, Gene Hackman and a pre-Monica Lewinski Bill Clinton.

When I first saw Orlando on screen in Lord of the Rings, I emitted this gutteral, completely involuntary sigh. (Unlike when I bypass Anderson Cooper as I'm flipping channels..that's more of an mmmmm...like maybe the difference between biting into chocolate vs. wanting chocolate to bite into you.) Anyway, I didn't know who Orlando Bloom was as an actor. Honestly, I just figured I had a thing for elves. I refused to google him for fear it might dilute his elfin magic.

But one day a trailor came on for Pirates of the Caribbean, and as a pirate swashbuckled across the screen, I had the same reaction. The lusty sigh again. Great, I groused. I'm turned on by elves and pirates. What's next. Feet?

As it turned out, that pirate was Orlando.

I wasn't a freak. Just an old lady with a girlish crush.

So tonight it's me, a friend, two teenaged boys, a big bucket of popcorn and a hot pirate. Life doesn't get much better than that.

Life List Day 67 - Get a Song Unstuck from my Head

"I heard this song on the radio - what is it?" my son, Danny asked, and then he hummed some classic guitar rift that was so familar, it caused an intolerable itch on my brain.

I couldn't think of what it was, which was driving me nuts. My son and I weren't getting anywhere on the Internet - we didn't have any lyrics or so much as a guess at the artist (just try doing a google search under dada dum da da da ba bow bow). I tried phoning a few friends hoping to run it by them, but either they didn't know it or they weren't home.

I'd resigned myself defeat when I thought, If I were willing to make a complete fool of myself, I could solve this mystery. As much as I hate making a fool of myself, I was desperate to ease that nagging curiosity. Plus I still needed to do something for my life list. (I'd gone to lunch at a new place, French 73 in Burbank, but I felt it was kind of cheating since EVERY place in Burbank is new to me, more or less.) So I decided to give foolishness a go.

I called Sam Ash, a nearby guitar store. "You'll probably think I'm crazy," I said, "But I need to know this song." And then I hummed it.

At first they said "Oh, it's Mission Impossible," which was what my cousin Jerri said when I hummed it to her, but I knew that wasn't it. I didn't give up. I hummed it again, throwing a bit more feeling into it.

"La Grange by ZZ Top!" he said excitedly, and immediately I knew he was right. That was it!

I can sleep easy. Whew.

Life List Day 66 - Meet Five "Regular" People and One Celeb

Every year I help put together The Diamond Awards, an awards ceremony that honors companies that promote ridesharing. At these events, I usually only talk to staff - it's my job to make sure everything happens on time. There's no time to be friendly to attendees.

That's what I tell myself, but really, I'm just shy. I hate networking.

Today, I made it a goal to meet five people - any five people attending that I'd never met before.

It was actually easier than I thought. I just marched up, said hi, how are you? having a good time? how's your rideshare program? and they were more than glad to gab away.

As for the celebrity: Huell Howser - host of PBS's California Gold, Visiting and Downtown - was a special guest speaker. He's so darned friendly it's almost hard to avoid him, but I still might have if I hadn't been riding high on all my mingling. So I introduced myself and got a photo taken that I can add to my Wall of Fame, alongside my pic of me with Donny Osmond.

P.S. I'll post the Huell Howser photo soon; however, due to an unfortunate perm (mine), I may never post that Donny shot.

Life List Day 65 - Woo Hoo! Last Minute Tickets to See The American Idol Finale Dress Rehearsal

At 11:30 today I got an email from a ticket company I'd registered with back in January: If I could be at the Kodak Theater in Hollywood by 1:00, I could be in the audience of the dress rehearsal of the American Idol finale.

It was impossible, of course. It would easily take me an hour to get to Hollywood - and that's if traffic was light, which it never is. I was still in my sweats. I had a script due for an event tomorrow.

So naturally, I threw on clothes, jumped into my car, and raced like a madwoman to try and make it - and I did!

Even though I was there by myself, it was still fun. I bonded with a group (gaggle?) of twelve-year-old girls, and was seated third row center. Not bad for freebie tickets. I have to say, the Kodak Theater is beautiful. Ryan Seachrest was chatty and adorable. I actually preferred the fake judges they had sitting in for Ryan, Paula and Simon over the real thing. Voted-off idols the nasal guy, the curly-headed chubby guy and the first guy to go (oh, how quickly we forget) were in the audience.

And - at least at the rehearsal - Jordin sang Blake under the table.

As a bonus, Chris Daughtry performed. He is as dour in person as he seems but, hey, Chris Daughtry!

I wonder if I hadn't been doing this life list if I'd have taken the chance. I'm sure glad I did.

Life List Day 64 - Do Bikram Yoga

It's funny what you'll commit to after three glasses of wine and some tapas - like saying, "sure, I'd be more than glad to do yoga for 90 minutes in 110 degree heat."

Actually, I've done Bikram yoga before. It's a sequence of 24 postures, done in the same order in a heated room. It promises you'll "release toxins," which basically means you'll sweat. A lot.

I was nervous because the last time I did it was more than five years ago, and I was in much better shape back then. I stopped going the day I walked out of class and my contacts literally shriveled up into balls and popped right out of my eyes - I assume from dehydration. I hated to think what was happening to the rest of me. My friend Janice continued to go, until the day she started to pass out on the drive home and had to be taken to the hospital in an ambulance.

Maybe it's like childbirth: you forget the pain. Because suddenly, I remembered how I'd never been more limber than when I was doing Bikram yoga. My focus was astounding. My skin radiant.

Anyway, we did it. We survived. I didn't wear my contacts so having them pop from my eyes wasn't an issue - plus since I was staring in a mirror the entire time, it was nice to have my edges blurred a bit.

Life List Day 63 - Try Fennel

I love licorice and heard that fennel is a veggie that tastes sort of like it. For my life list today, I thought I'd give it a try.

I sliced up the bulb part, and threw it in a foil packet with a chicken breast and cherry tomatoes, and then baked it.

All I can say is, I could eat this stuff by the truckload. The texture is a bit like celery, and the taste definitely has a hint of licorice and sweetness, but not overpowering. It's no Twizzlers, but as veggies go, it rocks.

Anyone have any tips for other ways to prepare it?

Life List Day 62 - Visit a Museum called Psychiatry: An Industry of Death

Today my son Danny and I met my Aunt Marcy and Uncle Ben at a museum in Hollywood called, "Psychiatry: An Industry of Death." We were lured by promises of pictures of people getting labotomies and forms of psychiatric torture throughout history, like bloodletting.

The stuff I found the most interesting:

- that being African-American was coined a psychiatric disease - that with proper treatment you could turn white, and that runaway slaves had a malady called "drapetomania," a mental disease that caused them to flee from home, curable by whipping.

- thousands of labotomies were performed from a Labotomobile - a mobile hospital that looked strangely like an ice cream truck.

- the fact that in the 1950s there were about 35 psychiatric diagnoses (numbered and coded) - now there are thousands, including such mental "diseases" as teenaged rebellion, generalized anxiety and "parental alienation syndrome". By current definitions, we're all crazy.

Life List Day 61 - Dip My Toes in the Ocean

I couldn't think of anything to do for my life list today.

Around 6:00, I drove to the beach, parked, got out of my car, walked to the ocean, took my shoes off, rolled my pants up, ducked my toes in the water, nearly got brain freeze from the cold, ran screaming from the water, walked back to my car, brushed off my feet, tried to dig the sand from my toes, pulled on my socks over still-sandy feet, drove back home.

Smiled.

Life List Day 60 - Kick the Junk for a Day

I admit it: I'm a sugar addict. Trying to lose a few pounds, I swept the house of all sugar, except for my son's ice cream in the freezer (which isn't a temptation since I'm lactose intolerant).

Yesterday, I thought I'd try to give sugar up for a while. I didn't even make it until 3 before I melted the ice cream in the microwave so I could dig out the (non lactose) cookie dough pieces and chocolate chips - which, by the way, really pissed off my son when he went to eat his ice cream later and it was a strange consistency and void of any goodies.

I realized I'd need to take drastic action: making "give up sugar for 24 hours" once of my life list items.

So that's what I'm doing today. It's past 9:30 PM, and I'm confident the coast is clear. I've already brushed my teeth. I'm snuggled in bed. My willpower is strong, and I've already eaten all fun stuff out the ice cream anyway.

Life List Day 59 - With God as My Witness, I Will Finish Reading Gone With the Wind Today!

I started reading it April 30 as part of my life list. Today I will finish. I'm on page 909 out of 1037, so I'm in the home stretch.

I giggle every time I get to a famous line...

"With God as my witness, I will never go hungry again!"

"Miss Scarlet, I don't know nuthin' 'bout birthin' no babies."

And I can't wait to get to the infamous, "My dear, I don't give a damn."

The strangest thing to me is how I got so absorbed into this portrait of the South that - at one point - I found myself worried when it appeared that some KKK members might be harmed. I had to go rinse my brain out with soap to rid myself of that point of view.

Well, I could go on and on, but I have reading to do.

Life List Day 58 - Rid Myself of 20 Things...and an Odd Interlude

Today for my life list, I set a goal to scour the house and throw away/donate to charity exactly 20 things - declutter a bit - and I did. But that's not what I want to talk about.

I want to talk about the old man.

At about 4:00, there was a knock at the door. My son answered it - I was on the couch reading Gone With the Wind - and I heard a man say, "Can I speak to your mother?" We live along a fairly busy street. People come to the door a lot: kids selling stuff, Jehovah's Witnesses, Mormons.

I relieved my son at the door, and the man - I figured him to be in his seventies - well dressed, well mannered - started by showing me his proof of military service. He said he was walking down my street and he was weary. As he thumbed through his wallet, I assumed he was going to show me it was empty of cash and ask for bus fare. Instead, he said, "Can you call the police for me? I want to go home to Arcadia. I figure they'll throw me in jail for the night, but then they'll give me a ride home. Which is good, because I've been walking a long time, and these cars on this street are going so fast. And I'm cold."

Of course I said I'd call, but then I faced the question, Do I let him in? I decided I would. He perched on the edge of my couch as I called my local police to explain the situation. The cop who answered said, "Where is he now?"

"He's here."

"In your house?"

"Yes."

"You let a TOTAL STRANGER into your HOUSE?"

Well, when he put it THAT way, it didn't sound so good. But the day my son knocked in our front door a month back with one swift kick, I lost any semblence of a false sense of security.

I attempted to make conversation with him. Far from being a threat, he was very polite, eager to talk about his years working for the Welfare office, not so eager to talk about how he came to be wandering down my street because - I soon realized - he didn't quite remember.

As I offered him a Coke, I had to chuckle: Here I was, reading Gone with Wind, which is set in an era when - if a complete stranger stopped at your home - you didn't just call the cops and offer him a soda. You fed him your best food and gave him a place to sleep for the night. Now we have to struggle with our conscious when we want to help what appears to be a befuddled elderly man for fear it's a hoax. And it could have been. Believe me, if my mother is reading this, I'm going to get a worse lecture than I got from that cop.

Anyway, the police came, took him outside, and talked to him for about 20 minutes before driving off with him.

I'm not sure how this relates to my life list, other than to say that it was the most interesting thing to happen to me all day.