Thursday, June 7, 2007

Life List Day 81 - Don't Take My Son His Homework

After dropping Danny off at school this morning, I came home to see he left his Science homework on the table.

I'd said, "Did you pack your towel for PE? Did you get your essay from the printer? Do you have lunch money?" "Where's your retainer case?" Because I didn't specifically say, "Did your homework make it from the table into your backpack?" it didn't get done. This kid is 15 - three years away from independence - and I sometimes wonder because I don't say, "Did you wipe your ass?" after he goes to the bathroom if it actually gets done. Actually, I don't want to know.

Anyway, Danny needs every point he can get in school- I know even if he doesn't that even one assignment could tip the scale on a grade between really crappy and just plain crappy. Therefore, I thought about all the ways I could somehow get him that homework to turn in on time. All of them involved me calling/driving/doing what clearly at this point my son should be doing for himself.

So I didn't.

That's my big achievement for the day.

Honestly, it's one of the harder things I've done...and I know I need to be doing it more.


AMPlifier said...

Yay for you!!! I am not a parent, but as a former public school teacher I can attest to the importance of children being held accountable. I ran a tight ship when I taught - parents bringing their kids' forgotten homework in for them did NOT go without penalty - and I taught 4th grade! Many times I'd have students/parents complaining at the beginning of the year that I was too strict - and these same people would be thanking me at the end of the year for helping their children grow and learn valuable lessons. I can imagine it wasn't easy for you to refrain from enabling him, but in the long run, it's for his benefit. Bravo!


Breeni said...

It's boys, I swear. My sons (and husband) are the exact same way. They need lists or they might forget to breathe!

Rusty aka Emma said...

sometimes you have to be tough for them to learn the valuable lesson of taking responsibility.

Teresa said...

I made the mistake of emailing my daughter's homework to her teacher. Her teacher blasted her for being irresponsible. For some kids it teaches responsibility, for others it just adds anxiety.

Max said...

May sound odd (since I am not a parent yet) but: I totally get you! I have a cousin who is just like you son, and my auntie makes him worse by behaving the way she shouldn't: how are these boys supposed to grow up? How will they be fit to face the world? I mean, mommy won't always be around, will she...? Cheers!

LisaMM said...

I just had this conversation with my husband this morning. He took the kids to school and called me after he dropped them off. My 5th grader forgot A) her glasses and B) her library book. I was on my way out the door to meet my friend at the gym. To bring her stuff to school would mean being late and keeping my friend waiting, so I told him it was her responsibility to remember her things and that I wasn't going to take them to her. Too bad, so sad. He said ok. He called 2 hours later to say he'd gone back to the house, gotten her things, taken them to school, and walked into her class with them (rather than take them to the office). My daughter got in trouble not only for forgetting her library book, but for her dad walking right into class and not checking in at the office. She was embarrassed and I'm guessing that next time she'll remember her stuff.

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